Long Depressing Drives
This.
I know you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me because you never really cared about how I see life, how I struggled so hard to just be happier every day.
I know that you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me because you can't stand the way I drove my car so recklessly as my mind wanders in memories I shouldn't keep and that you cannot stand that I drive my car slowly because all I wanted to do is enjoying my ride and feel my life drifting away from me, and listen to the croak of the frogs when it rained, and just simply feel more alive than I did the day before.
I know you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me because I told you I hated wasting away my time wandering aimlessly but if only you'd listen, all I ever told you is I hated how we wasted so much of our time walking in malls aimlessly when we can go on drives or walks on the beaches or take a stroll in the park and just enjoy the world better.
I know you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me because I would sit in silence for the whole ride while listening to songs, mostly songs that I love at the time, for example a long time ago I would just play Eminem's Relapse Album on repeat for days; or that one time I would play Alleycats' songs on repeat for weeks every single time I'm in the car. And I know you hated listening to the same songs over and over and over and over again because there are times when we go on for a ride, you wouldn't let me turn on the radio.
I know you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me because you just don't want to see me feeling down and you just can't bear the thought of me being at my lowest, because you'd always tell me that I look so much more beautiful when I smile or laugh, or that you like it when I sing songs so happily when we were together in the car. I remembered how you would smile like a fool whenever I sing for you even though I know my voice is not as melodic as yours.
I know, you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me, because you hated the thought that you made me feel so sad that I just cried every time I missed you. I know, you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me, because you didn't want to feel guilty about breaking up with me, when I chose to let you go.
*actually no, I am not depressed because we broke up, I am just so upset that I gave you so much power on me that I literally heard my heart breaking when you wanted to go. But never mind that, because all I can remember now is how beautifully you carved me to be who I am today. I'll thank you in my next post, I promise.
**Sebenarnya aku dalam a state of depression beberapa hari ini dan yang membuatkan aku rindu kau adalah kerana you used to take me places when I'm in my worst mood. But don't worry, I've moved on. Life must go on, kan? :)
I know you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me because you never really cared about how I see life, how I struggled so hard to just be happier every day.
I know that you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me because you can't stand the way I drove my car so recklessly as my mind wanders in memories I shouldn't keep and that you cannot stand that I drive my car slowly because all I wanted to do is enjoying my ride and feel my life drifting away from me, and listen to the croak of the frogs when it rained, and just simply feel more alive than I did the day before.
I know you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me because I told you I hated wasting away my time wandering aimlessly but if only you'd listen, all I ever told you is I hated how we wasted so much of our time walking in malls aimlessly when we can go on drives or walks on the beaches or take a stroll in the park and just enjoy the world better.
I know you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me because I would sit in silence for the whole ride while listening to songs, mostly songs that I love at the time, for example a long time ago I would just play Eminem's Relapse Album on repeat for days; or that one time I would play Alleycats' songs on repeat for weeks every single time I'm in the car. And I know you hated listening to the same songs over and over and over and over again because there are times when we go on for a ride, you wouldn't let me turn on the radio.
I know you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me because you just don't want to see me feeling down and you just can't bear the thought of me being at my lowest, because you'd always tell me that I look so much more beautiful when I smile or laugh, or that you like it when I sing songs so happily when we were together in the car. I remembered how you would smile like a fool whenever I sing for you even though I know my voice is not as melodic as yours.
I know, you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me, because you hated the thought that you made me feel so sad that I just cried every time I missed you. I know, you wouldn't want to go to these long depression drives with me, because you didn't want to feel guilty about breaking up with me, when I chose to let you go.
*actually no, I am not depressed because we broke up, I am just so upset that I gave you so much power on me that I literally heard my heart breaking when you wanted to go. But never mind that, because all I can remember now is how beautifully you carved me to be who I am today. I'll thank you in my next post, I promise.
**Sebenarnya aku dalam a state of depression beberapa hari ini dan yang membuatkan aku rindu kau adalah kerana you used to take me places when I'm in my worst mood. But don't worry, I've moved on. Life must go on, kan? :)
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